In early 2020, most of us had an extreme shift in our lifestyle as Covid-19 began its wave across the world. We all had to suddenly do everything for ourselves either because we needed to keep ourselves and our families safe or because businesses who provided the services had shut down to keep their employees safe. Education, dining, baby-sitting, house cleaning, home repairs, lawn services and more all stopped. We had to figure out quickly how to survive without the added help. Researchers found we are spending a combined 27 more hours per week on chores, childcare and education. I think we will not be surprised that additional research is showing, in general, women are carrying the heavier part of this load. This large addition in work and uneven balance is causing stress and resentment. So what are we to do as leaders at work and in our homes?
Capture everything
Discuss this increased demand on our time at work and at home. Acknowledge this issue and help people discuss all the things that have changed, things that perhaps other people were doing for them and their families and that they are now doing themselves. There are the obvious such as cleaning and childcare but people are also walking dogs for neighbors, picking up meds for at risk parents, and more.
Discussing this during a team meeting may help people have the discussion at home. Capture the information. Remember that this is just a brainstorming and sharing session, no judgement. Make this very safe. Sally may be sending her kids to daycare now and James thinks daycare is too dangerous. Both are correct. These are the right decisions for their families. Be sure to set ground rules around the discussions. Share the notes and set people up for their conversations at home.
Outsource to In-source to Who
Now that you have a list from work, you can tailor it for your home. In a safe and calm way, have the discussion about if the work that is being done by the family can actually be outsourced again. Maybe you heard an idea in the work meeting that would be good for your situation. If not, it is time to get intentional about who is doing what. All cleaning cannot fall to one person, unless you live alone of course (the dog will not change the sheets). Dishes, laundry, cleaning the toilets, they all have to be done. A realistic discussion around how often they must be done should also happen. In normal times, you may wish to vacuum every week. Right now, life says every two weeks. Intentional, calm communication is the key here.
Planned time off
Lastly, ensure you all understand when it is time to rest. Resentment can build if one person is running around cleaning, doing laundry and paying bills and the other person is off taking a nap. We all need down time and rest. For me, this is Sunday….I would rather do chores 12 hours on Saturday than lift a finger on Sunday. I like my day of rest. Again, communication is key. If you make your request for time or to complete chores in advance, things can be scheduled. If you state when you would like a half day of downtime, it can be arranged. Do not surprise one another during this time with sudden demands. Do remember to slow down. The laundry will be there tomorrow.
As a leader at work and in your home, gather your thoughts and plan the conversations. You will be surprised what things other people are doing, creative solutions which have been found, and how communication will allow you some much needed down time during this period of life.
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